May11

Here’s some of the “music” released recently.

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“Let’s Go (feat. Chris Brown)” by will.i.am

So, if you haven’t heard the controversy over this track, I’ll attempt to give my best amount of knowledgeable background. Mat Zo and Arty collaborated on a track titled “Rebound” on Anjunabeats. Then, Will.I.Am. and Chris Brown collaborate and commercialize “Let’s Go” … which is honestly the exact same song. They didn’t even remix the original… they just added lyrics. And the best part? They didn’t get permission and they didn’t give credit to the original producers.

“What do I know? I give it to legal I’m not no attourney. I did my piece. I gave credit to the person who did it, It’s not my fault he didn’t tell me about the other guy. So who’s to blame? I didn’t know, I wasn’t in the room when you made it. You shoulda told me you had a collaborator.” – Will.I.Am. in response.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Literally… I could have told you that Arty was a collaborator on the original track, “Rebound” by Mat Zo, just by typing “Rebound by Mat Zo” into Google… and guess what?! I’m not even an attorney! Silly how common sense works.

Then we have this great display of American intelligence:

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Holy mother of God. First of all, the grammar and spelling in this tweet is less developed than a 3-year-old toddler’s. Second, according to Chris Brown’s tweet and completely logical thought process, it really doesn’t matter if I ever disregard the law or engage in copyright infringement… as long as someone asked me to do it.

2.0 by 98 Degrees

I get that bands take hiatuses and then later release their “comeback” album, but this is one band that probably should have stuck to acting on reality shows, becoming members of Chippendales, and trying to run for mayor. Although, to be fair, they failed at their attempts to succeed at those careers too. They came back together so long after they broke up that they were surprised they blew up on Twitter and Facebook… welcome to the new media, grandpas. This album is terrible. Just listen to the first single, “Microphone,” which I can’t even figure out what genre to label it as – it’s a terrible mix between electronic, pop, and autotune. Side note: it’s also about oral sex. Sorry, but there’s something terribly wrong about 40 year olds singing songs about oral sex that target the pre-teen segment of the world. The best part is that when being questioned if they knew the song was about oral sex, they respond by saying they thought it was about singing in a microphone. Really… if the song was truly about microphones it would not contain the lyrics, “I’ll make you scream at the top of your lungs.” To entertain you, here’s some quotes from them in their interview with The Daily Beast:

“We made a conscious decision that we weren’t going to write on this record. We wrote 11 of the 13 on the last record.”

Thank god your so dedicated to be the best possible musicians you can be!

“New music from 98 Degrees was something that we were getting requests for so we wanted to do it for that.”

Can I please get a show of hands of people who were requesting new 98 Degrees music?

“You can’t decide to come out and release a pop record when music is in a rock phase. It won’t be as successful. You really have to wait and time it right, and everything lined up to make this the right time.”

They argued that they waited until pop music became the biggest genre to release their album… so wait – they waited until EDM was blowing up to release a pop album.

“When people asked how does it feel to be a boy band, even in 2000, we always said, “Well we’re more of a man band,” because even then we were 27, 25—we weren’t necessarily boys.”

‘Man band’?? Stop. That makes you sound even more childish than ‘boy band’.

David Guetta feat. Ne-Yo, Akon – “Play Hard”

David Guetta… I used to have so much faith in you. I’ve been trying to plan my summer festival season around seeing you and now I’ll stick to Spring Awakening and Lollapalooza. The beginning of this music video made me want to hurt someone: that whole ghetto/badass build up with all the cash and creepy looking people just to get a pair of the ugliest boots I’ve ever seen in my life made me want to puke all over my computer and then throw it across the room. Also, “Play Hard” samples (without credit might I add) Alice Deejay’s “Better Off Alone” – two important comments on this. First, is it impossible for artists to come up with their own beats these days? It’s honestly becoming pathetic. Second, THIS SONG DOES NOT SAMPLE WIZ KHALIFA’S “SAY YEAH.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? There’s a special place in hell for all of the people on YouTube commenting such things as…

“This song is stolen from Wiz KhalifaWork hard play hard ad say yeah. i think david Guetta is an ashole.”

1. No, it’s not. 2. Grammar: it’s your friend. 3. It’s spelled “asshole” not “ashole,” you idiot.

“Sounds like Wiz Khalifa’s “Say Yeah”…”

OMG You’re right!!! And you know what Wiz Khalifa’s “Say Yeah” sounds like? ALICE DEEJAY.

Apr11

Spring Awakening Giveaway… Stay Tuned.

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So, unfortunately there’s these concepts that go by the name of a job and poor college kids. Therefore, it pains me to say that since I have a job and poor college kid friends, I won’t be making it to Spring Awakening this year despite making sure I was at my computer the second tickets went on sale and posted hundreds of social media posts about how excited I was to go to the festival. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to help out other poor college kids have the chance to attend the festival. So, I’m going have a ticket giveaway and let someone else go in my place. As soon as I work out the legalities of it, I’ll post the details. Seriously, though, I fully understand not being able to attend the most anticipated concerts and festivals of your year simply because you can’t afford it or your friends can’t afford it, so I promise to make it “no purchase necessary” to enter. Be sure to LIKE WTF Music Review on Facebook so you don’t miss the announcement! In the meantime, let’s address some of the fantastic DJs appearing at Spring Awakening this year and mourn in my loss of not being able to attend.

1. Calvin Harris

Luckily, I was able to crawl through the mud at Lollapalooza last summer and see Calvin Harris, so it’s not the end of the world, but it also really is because he’s my favorite. And on top of it, he just released 18 Months so it would have been like a whole second show. The best part about Calvin Harris is that he doesn’t play his own original tracks – he remixes each and every one so it’s not just listening to some DJ push play on stage. And I mean, it’s not like he’s hard on the eyes or anything.

2. ATB

I’ve been listening to ATB since I was just a little pre-teen living in Arlington, Texas and my mom would drive around listening to the “Gay Radio Station.” I haven’t kept up to date with them so recently so I can’t say they were at the top of my list of acts to see, but I’m sure they would have been great.

3. Bingo Players

If you’re listening to this song and thinking “Oh my god, Flo Rida,” I seriously want you to exit this webpage as fast as you possibly. If you’re listening to this song and dancing because you love it so much, you’ll understand how upset I am that first, I missed Bingo Players when they came to Madison last fall, and two, that I’m missing Bingo Players when they come to Chicago this summer. I just can’t get it right.

4. Dirty South

Alright, so luckily I get to see Alesso this Saturday night, so at least I might get to hear the song that made me fall in love with Dirty South, but then again, I’m also not entirely sure who to give full credit to for “City of Dreams.”

5. Krewella

I won’t get too upset about missing Krewella at Spring Awakening… until I realize that I’ll probably also miss seeing them in Madison on May 2. Seriously, I just need like one friend to attend that concert with me and I’ll feel like one fraction better about missing Spring Awakening. I’m accepting applications for concert-attending friend now.

6. Nero

You know, I was really looking forward to giving the Nero crowd a second chance after leaving in fear of my life at Lollapalooza last year. I mean, I was really upset at myself for leaving in the middle of their show last summer so when I saw they were coming to Spring Awakening, my reaction was relief… until now when I realize I can’t go and it’s like “lol at my life.”

7. Nervo

Lol. Kidding. That’s a joke. I’m not missing Nervo. There’s no way. Realistically, however, I will end up missing Nervo. I’m just going to prepare myself for a letdown now. Nervo is definitely the show I was looking most forward to at Spring Awakening though so whoever gets to enjoy them, you’re in for a real treat, and I’m extremely jealous.

8. Nicky Romero

Notice how the song I chose to feature on this post includes Nervo? Yeah. That excited. Anyway, Nicky Romero is another that I’m truly upset about missing. I’m sure he’ll come back to Chicago soon though – there will be other times, hopefully.

9. Porter Robinson

While Porter Robinson is fantastic live, I can’t say I’m too upset about missing him because I’ve seen him twice: once before Tiesto in Madison and once at Lollapalooza. He is really good though. Again, there’s nothing truly sensational about his performance, but he still puts on a good show that keeps you dancing through its entirety.

10. Zedd

If Nervo and Zedd were conveniently there on the same day or night when I wasn’t working and had a magical friend with money and interest in the same music as me, life would be perfect. Honestly, I didn’t really know who Zedd was until the first time I used my Shazam app and discovered “Spectrum.” I fell in love. Then, he released his debut album, Clarity, and I became obsessed. First, he’s funny. Second, he makes amazing music. Third, he’s adorable. Fourth, I was really hoping we could lock eyes at Spring Awakening and run away together. I guess that won’t be happening though.

So, that’s my ideal Spring Awakening lineup. There’s definitely more than 10 DJs that I want to see, but those are the 10 that I’m extremely upset that I’m missing. I guess when I bought my tickets a few months ago, I didn’t really think about the fact that you shouldn’t buy tickets to a 3-day festival alone and assume that someone else will conveniently also purchase 3-day tickets to the same festival when you don’t really have any friends who have the same passion for EDM as you do. So, as long as I can’t get sued for giving away my Spring Awakening tickets, I plan on giving them to you – a reader and a music lover. Stay tuned to WTF Music Review on Facebook (LIKE THE PAGE – this is how bloggers get followers, they bribe them, duh).

Feb22

Dance Party Friday: DJs From Mars

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For the first couple months of listening to this mash-up, I could only find the version on YouTube from a Spanish YouTube channel that only referred to the artist as “Amazing” and something about “vogliamo auguravi” but my 5 years of sitting in Spanish class and only participating when I was forced to isn’t really helping me translate anything. So, today when I finally put some effort into discovering the real artist of the song, I decided it should also get some more exposure. 

Anyway, the mash-up sums up 2012 in music and it’s like… really good. It covers all the genres, it covers all the hits (good and bad). It mashes them in a way that you can’t even tell that it would ever be 26 different songs. Drink to it. Dance to it. Just listen.

Songs:

0:13 Calvin Harris – Feel So Close 0:25 Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe 0:29 Zedd Ft Foxes – Clarity 0:34 Calvin Harris Ft. Neyo – Let’s Go 0:38 Flo Rida Ft Sia – Wild Ones 0:44 David Guetta Ft Sia – She Wolf 0:52 Maroon 5 Ft Wiz Kalifa – Payphone 1:02 Flo Rida – Whistle 1:11 Ivan Gough & Feenixpawl Ft. Georgi Kay – In My Mind (Axwell Remix) 1:26 Coldplay & Rihanna – Princess Of China 1:32 David Guetta & Chris Brown – I Can Only Imagine 1:37 Will I Am & Britney Spears – Scream And Shout 1:40 Skrillex – Bangarang 1:41 Martin Solveig – Night Out 1:46 No Doubt – Sittle Down 1:54 Sean Paul – She Doesn’t Mine 2:01 : The Wanted – I’m Glad You 2:04 Skrillex Ft Damian Marley – Make It Bun Dem 2:08 Madonna – Give Me All Your Lovin(Ft Mia & Nicki Minaj) 2:16 Dada Life – Feed The Dada 2:25 Psy – Gangnam Style 2:27 LMFAO – Party Rockin 2:31 Quilinez – Troll 2:34 Deadmau5 & Gerard Way – Personal Griefers 2:42 Nicky Romero – Toulouse 2:55 Alicia Keys – This Girl’s On Fire

Feb21

#TBT Music: 2003

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Alright, round 2 of Throwback Thursday music edition. I’ve chosen 2003 this time. Why? Honestly, I chose a really random year and called it a day. Let me tell you, though, there is no easy way to YouTube the songs you’re about to read about in the library without someone noticing.

1. Released: Beyonce - Dangerously in Love

And then in 2013, everyone wondered why she didn’t bring Jay-Z on stage at the Superbowl to perform this song. The album, Dangerously in Love, reached #1 on the Billboard 200 chart and featured the singles “Crazy in Love,” “Naughty Girl,” “Baby Boy,” and “Me, Myself & I.” This is when I liked Beyonce. Now all the entertainment I get from her is YouTube videos of some girl dressed as a clown trying to do the Single Ladies dance and smacking her head on the edge of a TV.

2. The Cheetah Girls debuted.

Uh, hello? ‘Cuz we are sisters, every color. Those definitely aren’t the words, but no sane girl of my generation can deny that they were super excited when Raven of That’s So Raven was advertised in The Cheetah Girls movie. But actually, did the books or the movies come first?

3. Johnny Cash passed away.

To be honest, I didn’t even know about Johnny Cash until Walk the Line was released in 2005, and even more honest, I don’t think I even knew what that movie was until it was playing for free in a hotel room on a vacation one year and I became addicted. So, I guess you could say I didn’t really notice his passing in 2003. But now that I love Johnny Cash, I’m devastated.

4. S Club 7 split.

The worst decision this group could have possibly made because I was nowhere near done with my S Club Party. Anyway, they released “Say Goodbye” (how metaphoric of them) which jumped to #2 on the UK charts – apparently our charts didn’t care about them because I can’t seem to find how this song ranked on the US charts (however, I also only have 10 minutes left on my free WiFi so I can’t say I’m putting too much effort into it). 

5. 2003 MTV VMAs…

And sometimes you have to wonder if this is why the Grammys thought they finally needed to have a dress code at their event in 2013…

6. #1 Single of the Year: “In da Club” – 50 Cent

But actually, I fully remember dancing around to this song (at the age of 10) in my game room like the whitest girl you could possibly imagine. Also, I’m almost positive my mom has this song on her iPod which only makes it worse. To top it off, the best thing to come from this song is the catch phrase, “We gonna party like it’s yo birthday.”

 

Feb14

#TBT: Music in 1981

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After not checking the iTunes store for 2 weeks, I checked it out today and I was like “WTF this is the worst Top 10 list I’ve ever seen.” Although right now my iTunes library is on shuffle and I’m also like “WTF this is the worst music I’ve ever heard.” So, take that as you will. This caused me to reflect on the good days of music. Naturally, I’m starting with 1981, which, since I wasn’t technically (but really in no way shape or form) alive, I’m relying on a lot of Google to point me to the big moments.

1. MTV Launched on August 1, 1981

…And 31 years later, we’re still dealing with it. But really, it was awesome in 1981. Whereas now its tagline is probably something along the lines of “I want to be Made into a Jersey Shore Teen Mom,” when it was launched, it was “I want my MTV.” Real surprise: the “M” actually stood for “Music.” LOL. Yeah. Anyway, they opened with The Buggles “Video Killed the Radio Star” and with that music videos were born. It was 24 hours each day of music videos – what could be better than that? MTV gave name to people like Michael Jackson and Madonna (well the Madonna of the 80s – the name she has now is all on her own). To think that we went from “Ladies and Gentleman, rock and rock” to “Next on 16 and Pregnant” in 30 years is just pathetic.

2. Kim Carnes – “Bette Davis Eyes”

This was the number 1 song of the year according to Billboard’s end of the year charts. And that’s also really all I have to comment on about this song.

3. This song was released.

And then we all wished we were Jessie’s Girl. Also, if you don’t know this song then you’ve been living under a rock because every good samaritan should know every lyric (or at least be able to make up some really good substitutes like me) to this song.

4. This album was released.

On July 31, 1981, Journey released the album Escape and it included one of the greatest songs (duh, in my opinion) ever: “Don’t Stop Believin’.” However, that song is clearly only of the greatest songs ever in my opinion because it peaked at number 9 on Billboard’s Hot 100. Other singles off this album included “Who’s Crying Now?” at #4 and “Open Arms” at #2. But like really, who cared about any song other than “Don’t Stop Believin”? Oh, that’s just me? K.

5. Bob Marley passed away.

On May 11, 1981, Bob Marley passed away due to cancer. But don’t worry, to this day, every teenager still goes through a phase in his life where he gets high and pretends that Bob Marley is singing the anthem to his life.

Feb12

Grammys Review

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Disclaimer: So, it’s 1am and I’m attempting to write a review of the Grammys because my family asked me to multiple times. I only mention this because I want them to read this and recognize that I just spent approximately 10 hours doing homework today and if I become sleep deprived, I blame them. 

The Grammys… I think the best way to sum up the Grammys is to just go over a few highlights – both good and bad.

1. Taylor Swift

Here’s what was wrong with Taylor Swift at The Grammys: everything. First, her performance. When did Tim Burton sign on to direct her Grammy performance? Or was that some creepy take on Alice in Wonderland? Either way, no. And seriously, did I not say I never wanted to hear that god awful song again? I’ll be honest, I didn’t catch the supposed diss on Harry Styles because about 45 seconds into her performance, my twitter news feed of everyone wondering who in their right mind decided that Taylor Swift of all people should open the Grammys and wishing she would get off stage became much more entertaining. However, if the diss to the 19-year-old 1D singer did happen, can someone please remind T Swift that she’s 23 years old and just seems pathetic? Then we have to discuss her dancing during The Lumineers performance because that just made me want to barf and then throw my television out the window. 

I guess some actual comments regarding music could be made too… as in, Taylor Swift use to be original and she used to have talent, but in my opinion, she’s just as sold-out as the rest of the other musical artists nowadays. 

2. Ed Sheeran & Elton John

This truly made me die and go to Heaven for a bit. This is music in case anyone needed a refresher. It also put Taylor Swift to shame. As if Ed Sheeran’s voice wasn’t enough, the Grammys added Elton John, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with Elton John (at least, until Juanes covers “Your Song” and translates it into Spanglish).

3. Carly Rae Jepsen

…didn’t win an award so I still have faith in the Grammys. 

4. LL Cool J’s closing performance

So after watching Taylor Swift’s opening act, I’m sure you were all thinking the same thing as me: “Well this can’t get any worse.” Wrong. False. WTF. Because then LL Cool J announced that he needed to do his part in the Grammys. Wrong. False. WTF. Hosting was your contribution to the Grammys – you did not need to perform too. Even bringing Travis Barker and Co. on the stage didn’t help this performance. Then I’m sure you were all thinking the same thing as me again: “Oh this can’t be the way the Grammys ends! Surely something better will come along!” Except all that came along were the credits…

5. Elton John, Mavis Staples, Zac Brown, Alabama Shakes, Mumford and Sons, and T Bone Burnett performed “The Weight”

For full video check out TheDailyBeast.

Hands down the best moment of the Grammys. If you can argue that, then you don’t know what real music is. I’m so happy this was the group that did a tribute piece – I’m so sick and tired of seeing untalented musicians honoring some of the best music talent in history. Also, if I see one more social media post about people not knowing who Mavis Staples is, I’m going to cut them off from music because they’re clearly listening to absolute sh*t (sorry, Mom).

6. The Awards

Honestly, I think they did a great job awarding extremely talented musicians. By far and absolutely unarguably, Mumford & Sons’ Babel deserved Album of The Year more than any other nominee. The other nominees in that category were truly tremendous albums, but Babel was just so spectacular.

The award for Best New Artist was a little disappointing because in my opinion, I feel that The Lumineers are much more original than Fun., but regardless both bands have a certain degree of originality to them. However, real fans of Fun. would recognize that they are not a “new” artist since their first album came out in 2009 – catch up, Grammys.

Best Pop Vocal Album should have gone to Florence and the Machine’s Ceremonials and not because that is my favorite band but because I’ve listened to both Ceremonials and Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger and, while Stronger is great, Ceremonials is just heavenly and a true forward progression in the music industry.

Taylor Swift won a Grammy, but it was for a song that included The Civil Wars so I’ll allow it – not that anything I disapprove of really matters to anyone but me.

7. Carrie Underwood’s … Dress …

So at first, you’re like “oh Carrie Underwood’s wearing another big dress so she doesn’t have to actually move on the stage” and then quickly you’re like…. “wait, why is her dress a projection screen?” Seriously, I love Carrie Underwood’s voice and I think she’s truly talented despite my hate for country music, but the dress. I want whoever planned this performance fired. I couldn’t even pay attention to the song because I couldn’t figure out what was going on or why.

8. Ellen

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Until next year, Grammys. Try to get some better openers and closers though.

Jan27

Songs I Never Want to Hear Again in 2013

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The popular music of today is absolutely terrible and while I do listen to it, I would also not miss most of it if was never played again. Also as a disclaimer, I fully admit to listening to all of these songs multiple times, alone and at the numerous college pregames, which without drunken college students, I’m pretty sure none of these songs would ever even make it to the public.

1. Toby Keith – “Red Solo Cup”

This song is literally about a red solo cup… a red plastic cup… Nothing else. No deeper meaning. No metaphor. Just a cup.

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2. Psy – “Gangnam Style”

This song is actually worse than Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” It’s not even in English, yet it’s also not even all in the same language; at least commit to one consistent language. Have you ever actually looked at the translation of the lyrics? No, probably not because that would take actual effort. The lyrics are literally, “A classy girl who knows how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee.” That is almost worse than Justin Bieber telling every teenage girl that they would survive starvation as long as they love him.

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3. Taylor Swift – “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

No one was ever trying to get back together with you, Tay, I promise. And no one likes it when you stop the general flow of the song to talk in the middle in an annoyed voice.

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4. Madonna ft Nicki Minaj – “Give Me All Your Luvin”

This was just another pathetic comeback for Madonna. It’s almost worse that Madonna was good music when music was still good. She was the queen of pop and then she comes back in 2012 with a song that only illustrates her inability to correctly spell the word love. Honestly, she paired with Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. while chanting “L.U.V. Madonna” and thought it would be a good song? Never play it again.

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5. Flo Rida – “I Cry”

If you would like to hear this song, may I suggest listening to the original and better song by Bingo Players. Hint: the title of the song is “Cry” and Flo Rida will never actually give them any credit for it.

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6. Rihanna ft. Chris Brown – “Birthday Cake”

Here’s the first thing that’s wrong with this song: Rihanna featuring Chris Brown. If you really need an explanation on why that’s bothersome, type “Chris Brown beats Rihanna” into Google because that will sum it up in the most vulgar way. Then google “Jenny Johnson and Chris Brown” because that’s the best comedic summary of him as a person. I remember the first time I heard this song and thought about how terrible it was so I tried to look it up by the lyrics, but failed when I realized that the only lyric was “cake.”

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7. Drake – “The Motto”

Because “YOLO” should have never become a thing.

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8. Skylar Grey ft. Emimen – “C’mon Let Me Ride”

I had a lot of hope for Skylar Grey after the P. Diddy single “Coming Home” and her help on “Love the Way You Lie.” Then I heard “Invisible” and I had even more hope for her. The hope even continued growing after hearing the Kaskade remix of “Invsible” and the DJ R3hab remix of “Dance Without You.” And then I heard “C’Mon Let Me Ride” and I no longer have any hopes for her in the music industry. There is no aspect of this song that should ever be considered catchy or good.

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9. Flo Rida – “Whistle”

We just really did not need another song that when translated from radio-appropriate to its real meaning is simply telling every listener how to give proper oral sex. First 50 Cent tainted my 12-year-old mind by telling me that lollipops were simply magic sticks that needed to be sucked, and now today, young minds are tainted with Flo Rida telling them to put their lips around the whistle and start real slow.

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10. Nicki Minaj

There is no one song. Let’s just get rid of Nicki Minaj.

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However, you can play Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” every day.