Seriously, if you have not watched this video and you are trying to read this post, stop and take 4 minutes and 40 seconds to watch it so that you have the same “WTF” reaction as me.
Now, issues that I have:
1) Why are Adam Levine and this random girl who switches from too-cool-for-Adam to in-love-with-Adam running from the police?
But really… why? The two of them worked at the bank. They were not robbing the bank. So, why didn’t it go through their heads to run out of the bank and scream at the cops, “Don’t shoot! We were hostages! We escaped and left everyone else behind to die! But, please, don’t shoot!” No, instead they take off like bandits and slap a massive “GUILTY” across their forehands. And at no point during their voluntary escape from the bank and police chase did either of them decide to turn around and be like, “I’m innocent!” Instead, they just keep running. On top of it all, the random girl gets away free; Adam Levine just ditches her behind a car and keeps the police chase going. SERIOUSLY, YOU WERE INNOCENT.
2) Where’s the rest of the band…?
Let’s just reinforce the fact that Adam Levine’s ego is starting too get a little too large to remain part of Maroon 5. In the beginning and even in the high-point of Maroon 5, the band made appearances in the videos. “Makes Me Wonder”? Check. “She Will Be Loved”? Check. “This Love”? Check. “Misery”? No. And now, “Payphone” is a no.
3) What on earth does this video have to do with the song?
I mean, I get that “one more fucking love song and [they'll] be sick,” but honestly there is no need for a bank robbery and police chase in the video. The only connection I see in this video to the actual lyrics of the song is that the slut girl didn’t give him the time of day at the beginning of the video, and then maybe the fact that she just left him to do all the running-from-the-police part. Other than that, nothing. Nowhere in this song did Adam Levine start singing, “And then these random guys robbed my bank with guns so I grabbed the slut and ran.” I’m sorry, it’s just not happening. There isn’t even symbolism in this video.
4) How does Wiz Khalifa go from being a rich guy giving away his sports car to a poor man standing over a fire in a trash can?
In a matter of 1 minute and 30 seconds, Wiz Khalifa lost all of his money with absolutely no explanation. And at the end of the video, why does he continue to just creepily stand in the middle of the screen and watch Adam Levine’s car explode (and realistically, why is Adam Levine’s car exploding? It was working perfectly fine 20 seconds beforehand.)? I mean, “Excuse me, Mr. Khalifa? Yes, I was trying to watch this questionable music video and figure out why anything that was happening was happening so could you please step out of the screen? Thanks.”
Overall, I love the song. I sing it in the shower and dance to it when I’m in my room alone. However, I will not be getting the urge to pull up the music video and watch it anytime soon.